Hot Wax — a guide to wax play

If you have spent time on FetLife or other kink sites, you have probably seen the beautiful pictures: a model with a candle placed by their bottom, wax dripping and running down the skin, or a rope photo where candles are woven into the ties. If you are completely new to rope, you might want to start with my guide on how to get started with rope (coming soon to our Rope Wiki) — but here you get my guide on how to get started with wax play yourself, safely and with a good sense of what it is really all about.

What is wax play, and why do it?

Wax play is sensual. The feeling of wax dripping onto the skin is very unique, sensory and arousing — it can be painful, relaxing and sensual, often all three at the same time.

For those of you who are curious about sensory play in general, I think beeswax play is one of the safest and easiest places to start. As a tool, wax is incredibly versatile.

How do you do it?

There are countless ways to perform wax play, and I certainly don't know half of them — but I can break it down to the most basic. I have seen it done two ways myself:

With a wax warmer. Some prefer to use a wax warmer or crockpot to melt large amounts of wax at a time, which is then scooped up and poured onto the willing person. The advantage is that you have much more wax available at once, and can be very precise with the temperature. However, it requires more equipment and more wax.

By candlelight. That is my preferred method. Candles have a very special attraction — the living flame is perfect if mindfuck is part of what you have in the game.

The shape of the candle

When it comes to physical candles, there are some preferred shapes for hot wax play:

• Block candles They are cylindrical and wide enough for a large amount of wax to pool at the top — perfect for dripping a larger amount at a time, and they are good to hold. They are also available with multiple wicks so that the wax drips in a steady stream.
• Taperlys is the kind you put in a candlestick. Because the wax doesn't have time to cool or pool on the candle, each drop will be hotter and you'll get a constant drip if you secure the candle in your uplines.

Types of wax — these are the ones we recommend ourselves

There are probably several types of wax that can be used safely for wax play — but paraffin and soy are the two I have the most experience with myself, and which I can safely recommend. So stick to those unless you know exactly what you are doing. If a candle in the supermarket doesn't state what kind of wax it is made from, do not use it — different waxes melt at different temperatures, and some of them are far too hot to pour onto skin. If you use the wrong type, you risk burning your partner.

All of our candles here at Ropes & Riggers are made from either 100% paraffin (Ph. Eur.-certified for personal care), 100% soya wax, or a mixture of the two — all with a melting point of between 45 and 52 degrees.

• Soya melts at an extremely low temperature, so the melted wax cools down. A 100% soya candle can sometimes have such a low melting point that the wax does not set completely after application.
• Paraffin is a petroleum product and melts at a slightly higher temperature than soya. Personally, I prefer 100% paraffin candles — they hurt more, and I’m a cruel sadist. 😉
• Mixed soya/paraffin can be fantastic, because you end up with a bulb with a “medium” temperature. Again: always check the contents, and do not buy it if the ingredients are not listed.

Do not use a pure beeswax candle — they melt at too high a temperature and will burn your partner.

In our own workshop, we continually develop and test various blending ratios between paraffin and soya until we strike the right balance — melting point, drip pattern and the feeling it leaves on the skin. It is not just about selling a candle, but about sending you something off the shelf that we would trust in a scene ourselves, and that we know you will be delighted with.

You will need this

In addition to your sexy selves and the candles, you will need:

• A lighter or match. Matches are often easier to handle in practice.
• If you play in a club: ask about the rules for adult play first — not all places allow it.
• A base — and a drop cloth, a plastic bag or a large towel. Wax play is messy. Even when you are careful about where you drip, it gets everywhere when it has to be scraped off afterwards. That is precisely why some clubs say no to it. I use a cheap fleece blanket myself, which I can just pack up and throw away afterwards.
• Massage oil (optional). Some like to apply oil before a wax play scene — it makes the heat radiate more, but also makes it easier to remove the wax afterwards.

Where on the body?

Wax is safe on a large part of the body, but some areas are more sensitive than others. Always talk about where the wax should end before you start. Some people can tolerate wax on their nipples, others not at all — the same goes for the anus and genitals. If you have a partner who is new to wax play, talk about it beforehand rather than guessing as you go along.

Back, chest and legs are the best places to start. I start myself by dripping the wax further away from the skin so that it cools a bit before it hits — and I get closer as I see the partner's reaction.

If you want to crank up the sensory experience even further, a blindfold can be a nice addition.

How to remove wax

Removing wax is one of the best parts of the play. The possibilities are virtually limitless — fingernails for scraping and peeling, a flogger or whip to flog it loose. You can do it gently or roughly, which naturally alters the intensity of the scene.

My own favourite is to use a knife to scrape off the wax — that opens up a whole other dimension of play, but knife play is a topic in its own right, which I won't go into depth with here.

When the scene is over, I usually wipe off the remaining wax residue with a damp cloth — and always make sure to do proper aftercare afterwards. 😉

Are you curious to get started with candle wax play? See our selection of candles for wax play, or Contact us, if you are in doubt about which one suits you.